Like all new moms, you’ve recently given birth. Congratulations and, more applicably, well done!

Maybe you tore, maybe they cut, maybe you had major abdominal surgery, maybe it took a simple 50 minutes and maybe it took 36 hours… regardless, within a few days you are pushed out the hospital doors into the big scary world and you are all on your own. Just you, no instruction manual, no one holding your hand, nothing but you and a brand new infant. So you wait and wait for that six-week postpartum checkup. You experience so much love, pain, appreciation, struggle, confusion, tears, smiles and drama during those six weeks. That chat with your gynae about how nothing feels right, everything hurts, sleep deprivation is going to be the end of you and the world is crumbling under your feet is exactly what you need. You hold tight for that six-week point. Maybe that will be the turning point. You walk in, hair in a knotted bun, dark rings under your eyes, cracked nipples and entirely overwhelmed. Your gynae says with a calm smile on their face, “You're all healed, good to go, get back into work, exercise, sex and life.” And there you are tears welling in your eyes thinking, “Are you joking??!!” You are not alone! Every new mom I have worked with has never said they felt “good to go” at six weeks postpartum. That checkup can be entirely traumatic, leaving you feeling that your struggles are invisible to the world. Numerous women call me straight after that appointment emotional, breathless, in tears about how they just do not feel they are “back to normal,” wondering if there is something dreadfully wrong with them. Maybe everyone else bounces back, maybe it's just them, maybe they are failing at being a mom.

There is nothing wrong with you. This is completely normal.

To be fair to your gynae, they probably mean that everything looks on track and you are healing within the guidelines. They check your healing uterus, any perineal tears or your c-section scar, and yes you're looking good and your healing is going well. That's a good thing.You survived your first six weeks. Well done! I want you to know that you are not alone. Your body has been under major preparation and building for 40 weeks. So much has changed. Did you know it takes your uterus 11 - 12 weeks to shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size? Your body takes time to change during pregnancy and it will take time to change again post-pregnancy. Birth, regardless of method of delivery, is a trauma to one's physical, mental and emotional being. Give yourself time to recover, rehabilitate and renew. In many countries in the world, every new mother must see a pelvic floor physiotherapist at the 6 weeks postpartum mark. Unheard of in South Africa, but oh so necessary in an effective and wholesome recovery from birth. In France, gynaes suggest 10 - 20 postpartum physiotherapy sessions of which most are covered by government medical insurance. We need to advocate for ourselves here in South Africa, we need to take our healing into our own hands and receive the care we so desperately need.

Do not settle for anything less than feeling yourself again.

Do not settle for vaginal pain, incontinence, sexual pain, leaking, pelvic pain, weak core, back pain, tingling, pins and needles or numbness. A pelvic floor physiotherapist can assess your pelvic floor, your bladder and bowel, your caesarean scar, your vaginal scarring, your pelvic and gluteal muscles, your core, breasts, posture and your general postpartum abilities.

Do not settle for anything less than feeling yourself again.

We are here to help you and we can help you. I want to hear your worries and fears, hold your hand while you cry, ensure you are not leaking, make sex pain free and enjoyable, get you back to exercise, restore your core and pelvic floor and bring you back to yourself. Let me help you, you deserve that. No one receives more respect and admiration from me than a new mom. You are a hero fulfilling the most selfless job in history. But please don’t forget about yourself in the story. Please reach out for help. Please speak to your people. Please love and be kind to yourself.

With all moms today and every day. With you all in pee, poop, pleasure and pain

Talya Chemel